Armando Dippet: Master or Moron?
By Rita Skeeter
Foreword
Since its founding in the late 900s, the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has been graced with numerous past Headmasters and Headmistresses. In fact, many of them are thought to have been quite exemplary during their days as Heads. More recently however, I am not so sure.
Where there is good, there is most definitely bad. There is no doubt that Dilys Derwent gained celebrity status with her seemingly "selfless" work at St. Mungo's, as well as her Headmistress position at Hogwarts. But who remembers all these pointless details when someone as horribly corrupted as Phineas Nigellus was allowed into office? He didn't even like students!
This book, however, does not dwell too much into the extremes of both good and bad. In fact, in this rare instance, my illustrious piece of work will let the reader (yes, you) decide whether the subject in question is indeed a moron. I will only provide such controversial facts that even the readers can plainly decide on the verdict of such a man as Professor Armando Dippet.
Ah, yes, Professor Dippet. There is a large possibility that the meek Armando may be the most poorly chosen Headmaster in Hogwarts' long history. It is a fact that in his term as Hogwarts' esteemed Head, You-Know-Who climbed the ranks of the student populace. Whether his intents in siring the future Dark Lord were true or not, it still does not change the fact that You-Know-Who passed the halls of Hogwarts with Armando's high praises.
What you can possibly expect in this small---though rather brilliant---piece of work are the facts about the man that preceded the late Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, apparent "Wizard of the Era." What made our dear Armando the frivolous person that he late became? Why was he so utterly useless? Was he just another victim of Tom Riddle's powerfully dark charms, and if so, why couldn't he see the evil that was in front of him?
These questions and more will be answered in Armando Dippet: Master or Moron? Exclusive interviews are also available, including quotes from Professor Dippet's nearest living relatives. There are even highly-unpublished facts about this so-called Headmaster, ones that might even give you conclusive evidence of his moronic ways! (Or perhaps his mastery.)
Do not dilly-dally, readers, I promise drama, intrigue, controversy! So continue on!
- Rita Skeeter
Chapter One: Moronic Beginning
The 1880s witnessed quite a few memorable events. Quidditch was revamped in 1883, when hoops finally replaced those atrocious baskets as goals. It was also during this decade that a snitch managed to escape from the clumsy grasps of Quidditch players alike---this snitch is now said to inhabit Bodmin Moor, though no one competent enough has yet to find it. Various famous wizards were also born during the 1880s. At the end of the decade, Quidditch seeker Roderick Plumpton (1889-1987) was born, and well, who else has caught a snitch in a record of 3.5 seconds?
Unfortunately, the 1880s also witnessed the birth of another figure. This figure later becomes the rather meek Headmaster of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
On April 26, 1882, Armando Clothide Dippet was born in Venice, Italy to Amelia Catherine Dippet and Michael Leonardo Dippet, two of the most prominent members of the Italian Ministry of Magic. While Leonardo headed the Wizengamot, Catherine served over 10 years as the Italian Minister of Magic before she and her husband retired from duty to care for their two children (Armando and his younger sister Christina Faye).
The Dippets remained in Italy only for a short time after their retirement. Armando was only 5 when they'd taken permanent residence in 102A Diagon Alley, London. The Dippets had set up shop in what is now currently known as the Apothecary.
With two very brilliant wizards as parents, it was to be expected that their children would climb the ranks with much promise and power. And it seems that way, with how Armando and Christina were raised.
According to the accounts of Alexia Maria Mandrake, Christina Faye's daughter, the 'Dippet Regime' ensured that both Armando and Christina were educated to the best of their abilities. As the older brother, Armando had expectations to fulfill, and he had to be a role model for his younger---and prettier---sister. When Armando entered his first year at Hogwarts, he was sorted into Hufflepuff. To the Dippets, that didn't seem too tragic. Well, they didn't know any better at the time!
Armando didn't do too badly in Hogwarts. His grades were decent, he even excelled in both Charms and Potions. However, when his sister Christina entered Hogwarts and was sorted into Ravenclaw, poor Armando was outshone. Not only was his sister pretty and popular, she was also brilliant beyond measure. Perhaps this was the start of his growing inferiority and incompetence.
I pity the poor Armando, because no matter how hard the boy tried, his sister was always significantly better. And she was two years his junior!
"Mother was always very intuitive, witty, and beautiful," Alexia Maria reminisced, sighing a bit in remembrance of a woman long past. "Once she turned 17, a lot of men always went after her. She wasn't interested much in taking a powerful position in Hogwarts or the Ministry. She was much happier being an heir to Granddad and Grandmum's Apothecary. So all of the expectations went back to Uncle Clothy."
At the beginning of his fifth year, Armando was named prefect for Hufflepuff House. In the Dippets' eyes, this was perfectly normal (Christina followed soon afterwards with her being named Prefect for Ravenclaw). To the surprise of many at the time, Armando even made Head Boy in his seventh year---though there are many speculations as to how this was achieved. Some insist he did it fairly, but others have better and more enticing theories.
It has been said that Michael and Amelia Dippet were very generous donors to Hogwarts, and that the 12 governors allowed the Dippets' exercising their authorities over Head Students. Others have also theorized that he conned his little sister Christina into taking the necessary tests for him, so as to show his exemplary work as a Hogwarts student.
When asked about these plausible theories, Alexia Maria's eyes welled up in tears, the drops glistening on the sides. "Oh, my poor mother, forced to do her big brother's work along with her own! Why, I don't know how she managed at all, really!"
Armando, Armando, could he really have been this twisted to cheat his way to the top? And could this possibly be why he had sympathised with the dark man that was Tom Riddle?
Chapter Two: Moronic Romance
Although a student's adolescence at Hogwarts is filled with ambition, drive, and study, there is no doubt that romance can likely blossom in the hearts of many. True, these romances are always shrouded behind a plethora of mistakes, heartbreak, jealousy, and scandal, but what can I say? Love was never something to trifle with anyway---though it is great material to use in a story.
Did Armando Dippet experience romance? Accounts have proven that he has. In fact, while at his time in Hogwarts, there was always one little pretty miss who caught Armando's eyes: Meghan Anna Winters.
It has been said that Meghan Anna was as pretty as they came; dark brown hair, sapphire blue eyes, the skin as peachy as...well, you get the drift. She was one of the most popular girls in Hogwarts at the time, as well as---surprisingly---one of the most skilled of her year. So it is not a far stretch that she became Head Girl during her final year at Hogwarts. And, of course, with Armando as Head Boy at the same time, it was only inevitable that the two would have to communicate with each other.
Meghan was far from shy, in fact, she was a social butterfly and had no problem flitting from one group of people to another. So it was not uncommon that many of the impressionable males of Hogwarts fell for her charms. Armando was her biggest fan; he even wrote her letters signed "Sir Loyal Heart" (as a pathetic attempt at mimicking Muggle King Henry VIII). Fortunately, the copies of these letters have been found and donated by the Meghan Winters' succeeding family.
My Dearest Meg,
I apologize for such a forward letter, but my feelings cannot be hidden without deep repercussions on my sanity. Please allow me to unleash my love at least in the written word, if not through speech.
You may not know this, but your charm and beauty have caught my attention, and I have to tell you that I am very much in love. So much so that should I hear a word of hatred escape towards me from your mouth, I would be subject to die of humiliation.
Do not take this as a plea for your reciprocated love, I am merely wishing for you to accept my heart, for it is yours to keep.
Sir Loyal Heart
It was very clear to Meghan that this admirer of hers must be found, at least so she could speak to him in person. There were also letters that she had written in reply to Sir Loyal Heart:
To Sir Loyal Heart,
I am utterly flattered that you should speak so highly of me, though quite sad that you should find it hopeless in seeking for my mutual feelings. I cannot give you an answer in the matter, for I do not know who you are...
From Meghan
These series of letters go on and on, until Armando's identity was revealed one night. It turned out that while Meghan could not solve the mystery behind Sir Loyal Heart, someone else would investigate for her. So it was another blow to Armando's self-esteem when his own sister, Christina Faye Dippet, realized who Meghan's biggest admirer was.
Instead of the chaos and bedlam that Armando expected, however, Meghan's reaction was more positive. By the middle of the year, the two were dating, much to Armando's bafflement, it seems.
It was only months later that things turned sour.
Chapter 3: Moronic Drama
In the affairs of the heart, fairness is by far the last property on many men's minds. And if the certain male is competing with a rather naive wizard ... well, let's just say the results are close to catastrophic (on the naive wizard's perspective, that is).
Months into a somewhat blooming relationship (Meghan and Armando finally started holding hands in the corridors!), Armando had fallen ill and became indisposed for weeks on end. Because of the rather arduous Head Student tasks, it fell upon Meghan to do both Armando's work and hers while the sickly young man tried to recover. Coupled with N.E.W.T.s, the Hogwarts Gobstones team, Head Student work, and the rest of her studies, Meghan's charisma and outstanding patience soon whittled away. Until, most of those days, she was found hunched over in the library, snapping at anyone who would try to disturb her. It was only her frequent visits to the library that changed events and allowed her to meet Arcturus Black (1884-1959).
Son of Ursula Flint and the greatly notorious Phineas Nigellus Black, former Headmaster of Hogwarts, Arcturus Black held promise and much acclaim in the Slytherin House. Like all Blacks from then and thereafter, he was ambitious, proud, intelligent, and very calculating. In many of the accounts given, he was also very very dashing. A dark and devilishly suave young man (even in his teens), he managed to quickly sweep Meghan off her apprehensive feet and steal her heart from the sickly and stringy Armando. Who can blame Meghan? The moment Arcturus staked his claim on her, she was already moving on.
It was a rather large blow, for once Armando recovered, his first greeting was a breakup letter from his beloved Meghan. There are some rumours that it was actually Arcturus who facilitated the estrangement by writing the letter himself, with Meghan's permission. In any case, Armando was stricken with grief; and surprisingly, he did not take this rejection quietly.
Days later, 15-year-old Arcturus Black and 17-year-old Armando Dippet found a way to solve their "girl" problem: a wizard's duel. Of course, both sides were confident in their victory; Armando clearly had more experience and skill, while Arcturus held in him a bloodline full of power (his father, at the time, was after all the Headmaster of Hogwarts).
Distracted by Meghan's pleas to stop the duel, Armando let his guard down (not that he had much of a guard to begin with). Inevitably, because of the opening caused by this distraction, Arcturus took the offensive and attacked. It was a quick victory, with a smiling Black at the forefront.
The Hogwarts halls were filled with murmured whispers of how a fifth year Slytherin student, who has yet to take his O.W.L.s, upended the very poster boy of Hufflepuff. This setback was quite a humiliating event for Armando Dippet, not even his sister could have helped him regain his reputation back.
Not much else is known about Armando's final stretch at Hogwarts, as he slinked away and disappeared from his social circles after the embarrassing dueling performance he displayed against Arcturus Black. It is only later that we realize Arcturus did not even stay long in a relationship with Meghan. In fact, after her graduation, the two had agreed that it was too difficult to stay with each other; Meghan had found a job at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement while Arcturus was still completing his studies in Hogwarts. Arcturus later married Lysandra Yaxley, a witch heiress, while Meghan Anna Winters found her match in Patrick Hooper.
Foreword
Since its founding in the late 900s, the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has been graced with numerous past Headmasters and Headmistresses. In fact, many of them are thought to have been quite exemplary during their days as Heads. More recently however, I am not so sure.
Where there is good, there is most definitely bad. There is no doubt that Dilys Derwent gained celebrity status with her seemingly "selfless" work at St. Mungo's, as well as her Headmistress position at Hogwarts. But who remembers all these pointless details when someone as horribly corrupted as Phineas Nigellus was allowed into office? He didn't even like students!
This book, however, does not dwell too much into the extremes of both good and bad. In fact, in this rare instance, my illustrious piece of work will let the reader (yes, you) decide whether the subject in question is indeed a moron. I will only provide such controversial facts that even the readers can plainly decide on the verdict of such a man as Professor Armando Dippet.
Ah, yes, Professor Dippet. There is a large possibility that the meek Armando may be the most poorly chosen Headmaster in Hogwarts' long history. It is a fact that in his term as Hogwarts' esteemed Head, You-Know-Who climbed the ranks of the student populace. Whether his intents in siring the future Dark Lord were true or not, it still does not change the fact that You-Know-Who passed the halls of Hogwarts with Armando's high praises.
What you can possibly expect in this small---though rather brilliant---piece of work are the facts about the man that preceded the late Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, apparent "Wizard of the Era." What made our dear Armando the frivolous person that he late became? Why was he so utterly useless? Was he just another victim of Tom Riddle's powerfully dark charms, and if so, why couldn't he see the evil that was in front of him?
These questions and more will be answered in Armando Dippet: Master or Moron? Exclusive interviews are also available, including quotes from Professor Dippet's nearest living relatives. There are even highly-unpublished facts about this so-called Headmaster, ones that might even give you conclusive evidence of his moronic ways! (Or perhaps his mastery.)
Do not dilly-dally, readers, I promise drama, intrigue, controversy! So continue on!
- Rita Skeeter
Chapter One: Moronic Beginning
The 1880s witnessed quite a few memorable events. Quidditch was revamped in 1883, when hoops finally replaced those atrocious baskets as goals. It was also during this decade that a snitch managed to escape from the clumsy grasps of Quidditch players alike---this snitch is now said to inhabit Bodmin Moor, though no one competent enough has yet to find it. Various famous wizards were also born during the 1880s. At the end of the decade, Quidditch seeker Roderick Plumpton (1889-1987) was born, and well, who else has caught a snitch in a record of 3.5 seconds?
Unfortunately, the 1880s also witnessed the birth of another figure. This figure later becomes the rather meek Headmaster of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
On April 26, 1882, Armando Clothide Dippet was born in Venice, Italy to Amelia Catherine Dippet and Michael Leonardo Dippet, two of the most prominent members of the Italian Ministry of Magic. While Leonardo headed the Wizengamot, Catherine served over 10 years as the Italian Minister of Magic before she and her husband retired from duty to care for their two children (Armando and his younger sister Christina Faye).
The Dippets remained in Italy only for a short time after their retirement. Armando was only 5 when they'd taken permanent residence in 102A Diagon Alley, London. The Dippets had set up shop in what is now currently known as the Apothecary.
With two very brilliant wizards as parents, it was to be expected that their children would climb the ranks with much promise and power. And it seems that way, with how Armando and Christina were raised.
According to the accounts of Alexia Maria Mandrake, Christina Faye's daughter, the 'Dippet Regime' ensured that both Armando and Christina were educated to the best of their abilities. As the older brother, Armando had expectations to fulfill, and he had to be a role model for his younger---and prettier---sister. When Armando entered his first year at Hogwarts, he was sorted into Hufflepuff. To the Dippets, that didn't seem too tragic. Well, they didn't know any better at the time!
Armando didn't do too badly in Hogwarts. His grades were decent, he even excelled in both Charms and Potions. However, when his sister Christina entered Hogwarts and was sorted into Ravenclaw, poor Armando was outshone. Not only was his sister pretty and popular, she was also brilliant beyond measure. Perhaps this was the start of his growing inferiority and incompetence.
I pity the poor Armando, because no matter how hard the boy tried, his sister was always significantly better. And she was two years his junior!
"Mother was always very intuitive, witty, and beautiful," Alexia Maria reminisced, sighing a bit in remembrance of a woman long past. "Once she turned 17, a lot of men always went after her. She wasn't interested much in taking a powerful position in Hogwarts or the Ministry. She was much happier being an heir to Granddad and Grandmum's Apothecary. So all of the expectations went back to Uncle Clothy."
At the beginning of his fifth year, Armando was named prefect for Hufflepuff House. In the Dippets' eyes, this was perfectly normal (Christina followed soon afterwards with her being named Prefect for Ravenclaw). To the surprise of many at the time, Armando even made Head Boy in his seventh year---though there are many speculations as to how this was achieved. Some insist he did it fairly, but others have better and more enticing theories.
It has been said that Michael and Amelia Dippet were very generous donors to Hogwarts, and that the 12 governors allowed the Dippets' exercising their authorities over Head Students. Others have also theorized that he conned his little sister Christina into taking the necessary tests for him, so as to show his exemplary work as a Hogwarts student.
When asked about these plausible theories, Alexia Maria's eyes welled up in tears, the drops glistening on the sides. "Oh, my poor mother, forced to do her big brother's work along with her own! Why, I don't know how she managed at all, really!"
Armando, Armando, could he really have been this twisted to cheat his way to the top? And could this possibly be why he had sympathised with the dark man that was Tom Riddle?
Chapter Two: Moronic Romance
Although a student's adolescence at Hogwarts is filled with ambition, drive, and study, there is no doubt that romance can likely blossom in the hearts of many. True, these romances are always shrouded behind a plethora of mistakes, heartbreak, jealousy, and scandal, but what can I say? Love was never something to trifle with anyway---though it is great material to use in a story.
Did Armando Dippet experience romance? Accounts have proven that he has. In fact, while at his time in Hogwarts, there was always one little pretty miss who caught Armando's eyes: Meghan Anna Winters.
It has been said that Meghan Anna was as pretty as they came; dark brown hair, sapphire blue eyes, the skin as peachy as...well, you get the drift. She was one of the most popular girls in Hogwarts at the time, as well as---surprisingly---one of the most skilled of her year. So it is not a far stretch that she became Head Girl during her final year at Hogwarts. And, of course, with Armando as Head Boy at the same time, it was only inevitable that the two would have to communicate with each other.
Meghan was far from shy, in fact, she was a social butterfly and had no problem flitting from one group of people to another. So it was not uncommon that many of the impressionable males of Hogwarts fell for her charms. Armando was her biggest fan; he even wrote her letters signed "Sir Loyal Heart" (as a pathetic attempt at mimicking Muggle King Henry VIII). Fortunately, the copies of these letters have been found and donated by the Meghan Winters' succeeding family.
My Dearest Meg,
I apologize for such a forward letter, but my feelings cannot be hidden without deep repercussions on my sanity. Please allow me to unleash my love at least in the written word, if not through speech.
You may not know this, but your charm and beauty have caught my attention, and I have to tell you that I am very much in love. So much so that should I hear a word of hatred escape towards me from your mouth, I would be subject to die of humiliation.
Do not take this as a plea for your reciprocated love, I am merely wishing for you to accept my heart, for it is yours to keep.
Sir Loyal Heart
It was very clear to Meghan that this admirer of hers must be found, at least so she could speak to him in person. There were also letters that she had written in reply to Sir Loyal Heart:
To Sir Loyal Heart,
I am utterly flattered that you should speak so highly of me, though quite sad that you should find it hopeless in seeking for my mutual feelings. I cannot give you an answer in the matter, for I do not know who you are...
From Meghan
These series of letters go on and on, until Armando's identity was revealed one night. It turned out that while Meghan could not solve the mystery behind Sir Loyal Heart, someone else would investigate for her. So it was another blow to Armando's self-esteem when his own sister, Christina Faye Dippet, realized who Meghan's biggest admirer was.
Instead of the chaos and bedlam that Armando expected, however, Meghan's reaction was more positive. By the middle of the year, the two were dating, much to Armando's bafflement, it seems.
It was only months later that things turned sour.
Chapter 3: Moronic Drama
In the affairs of the heart, fairness is by far the last property on many men's minds. And if the certain male is competing with a rather naive wizard ... well, let's just say the results are close to catastrophic (on the naive wizard's perspective, that is).
Months into a somewhat blooming relationship (Meghan and Armando finally started holding hands in the corridors!), Armando had fallen ill and became indisposed for weeks on end. Because of the rather arduous Head Student tasks, it fell upon Meghan to do both Armando's work and hers while the sickly young man tried to recover. Coupled with N.E.W.T.s, the Hogwarts Gobstones team, Head Student work, and the rest of her studies, Meghan's charisma and outstanding patience soon whittled away. Until, most of those days, she was found hunched over in the library, snapping at anyone who would try to disturb her. It was only her frequent visits to the library that changed events and allowed her to meet Arcturus Black (1884-1959).
Son of Ursula Flint and the greatly notorious Phineas Nigellus Black, former Headmaster of Hogwarts, Arcturus Black held promise and much acclaim in the Slytherin House. Like all Blacks from then and thereafter, he was ambitious, proud, intelligent, and very calculating. In many of the accounts given, he was also very very dashing. A dark and devilishly suave young man (even in his teens), he managed to quickly sweep Meghan off her apprehensive feet and steal her heart from the sickly and stringy Armando. Who can blame Meghan? The moment Arcturus staked his claim on her, she was already moving on.
It was a rather large blow, for once Armando recovered, his first greeting was a breakup letter from his beloved Meghan. There are some rumours that it was actually Arcturus who facilitated the estrangement by writing the letter himself, with Meghan's permission. In any case, Armando was stricken with grief; and surprisingly, he did not take this rejection quietly.
Days later, 15-year-old Arcturus Black and 17-year-old Armando Dippet found a way to solve their "girl" problem: a wizard's duel. Of course, both sides were confident in their victory; Armando clearly had more experience and skill, while Arcturus held in him a bloodline full of power (his father, at the time, was after all the Headmaster of Hogwarts).
Distracted by Meghan's pleas to stop the duel, Armando let his guard down (not that he had much of a guard to begin with). Inevitably, because of the opening caused by this distraction, Arcturus took the offensive and attacked. It was a quick victory, with a smiling Black at the forefront.
The Hogwarts halls were filled with murmured whispers of how a fifth year Slytherin student, who has yet to take his O.W.L.s, upended the very poster boy of Hufflepuff. This setback was quite a humiliating event for Armando Dippet, not even his sister could have helped him regain his reputation back.
Not much else is known about Armando's final stretch at Hogwarts, as he slinked away and disappeared from his social circles after the embarrassing dueling performance he displayed against Arcturus Black. It is only later that we realize Arcturus did not even stay long in a relationship with Meghan. In fact, after her graduation, the two had agreed that it was too difficult to stay with each other; Meghan had found a job at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement while Arcturus was still completing his studies in Hogwarts. Arcturus later married Lysandra Yaxley, a witch heiress, while Meghan Anna Winters found her match in Patrick Hooper.